While she appreciated his comment about the equipment, she knew sooner or later the chances of losing a team member were high. It was just a matter of when and who.

"Boredom in sick bay. Being an nurse is great and all, I really do enjoy looking out for the health of others. But sitting around all day doing inventories or giving people analgesics isn't quite the pace I want forever. So I started working field medicine and looked at the pace Blackwatch could provide. I want to feel like I'm doing something more, even if at the end of the day it requires me to disappear entirely."

She took note of how ginger he was with the trays and grinned. It wasn't remotely necessary as none of the hypos were going to go off just because. She didn't need anyone injecting themselves accidentally or on purpose. Some of the drugs were highly addictive and she'd seen other officers abuse pain killers in previous postings.

"Besides, there's something about the risk in these smaller craft that make it all worth it. Knowing we're out on the razors edge, decisions at the last minute being a matter of life and death...." Solana put away the last of the trays and then sealed the locker shut with her fingerprint to complete the lockout process. No one was getting in.

Joker was quiet for a moment, letting her words settle.

"Yeah... I think I understand that, " he glanced toward the cockpit. "I learned to fly because it made me feel free. Back on Deneva, it was just me, the ship, and the sky. Nobody could tell me where I belonged when I was up there."

His expression changed slightly. "Then the Syndicate found me," he looked down at the empty crate and containers. "After that, flying wasn't about freedom anymore. It was survival. If I could fly their ships, I had a place. If I was useful, I stayed alive" Joker was quiet for another moment before looking back at Vey.

"But Starfleet is different," a faint smile touched his face. "Now I'm flying because I want to be here, I believe in what we're doing." He gestured vaguely toward the transport around them "There's something kind of amazing about that, isn't there? Taking something what used to be about surviving for yourself and turning it into something that helps other people."

He shook his head slightly, almost embarrassed by how much he'd just said. "I guess I never really thought about it that way until just now." His eyes moved toward the sealed medical locker, "maybe that's what you mean about wanting to be part of something bigger. When we're out there, it's not just you treating patients or me flying the ship. We're all responsible for each other. And somehow, that makes the risk worth it." Joker's familiar nervous grin returned, "I think I'm ready to be on a recruiting poster."

"Take your time, honestly. This job is going to push your limits more than you realize, I don't think any of us truly know what we're in for. Not in the least. You have a tough role, we all do. Ease in and just focus on the task at hand. Become a Lieutenant Commander and then worry about the recruitment poster, ya?" She was sure he'd do just fine but did worry about the pressures that everything would entail. She'd unfortunately seen some of the best pilots she'd ever known crack when the deck stacked against them just right. Everyone needed some grace, whether from themselves or from their teammates.

She placed the empty trays back in the bin and then initialized the scanning system for the bio bed. It wasn't quite as good as the ones in Sick Bay but then again the focus was more on emergency treatment and stabilization versus complete treatment and healing someone. The goal was to keep them alive. "Nice setup here, system seems good and ready. Wanna hop up and lay down and I'll run a test scan?"

Jaxom blinked at the bio-bed, then at Solana.

"Uh... sure!"

He positioned himself in the middle of the med station and boosted himself onto the bed with his arms. Settling into a supine position, he listened to the soft mechanical sounds of the machine as it began its diagnostic cycle. He lay as still as he could, trying to keep his cool while the scanner passed over him.

Solana watched as the systems began their scanning process, making a few adjustments and allowing it to continue.

His mind began to run as he processed Solana's words. "I know I'm probably not exactly what they had in mind when they started putting this team together. New ensign, former Syndicate pilot... I can barely fit into the uniform, let alone know what it means to wear one."

She found his comment interesting, if not a bit self deflating "I don't think any of us are to be honest. Let's face it, we're essentially signing on for suicide missions and if we fail, we disappear."

He paused, taking a moment to center his thoughts as the bio-bed began populating its results across the large display on the bulkhead. "But when Lieutenant Hoshino told me he'd selected me for this job, I thought I was ready for anything."

"Don't let it go to your head Ensign, just because he recommended you doesn't mean you made it here on his merit." She continued looking over the display and made a few more adjustments. She took note of the spike in his cortisol levels and attributed it to their discussion. "All of the requirements are the same for all pilots here and the Captain could have just as easily denied your candidacy. So he certainly deserves credit as well as yourself. He's the one deciding if we have a place here or not."

His eyes moved toward the display, watching the diagnostic readings fill the screen. "The last few days have shown me that, despite my less-than-conventional career so far, I have something unique to bring to the table."

He took a quiet breath. "I just hope I have the chance to show them all."

"Alright everything her looks good, you can sit up if you want." Solana turned around and began closing up her bag "Have they scheduled your flight physical yet? Don't break any bones before then. And I'd recommend you schedule regular sessions with a counselor prior too. It'll look better on your eval to the doctor if you're showing care for your mental health." She had picked up on a few underlying concerns he may have with his won confidence. That wasn't something they needed out on mission to show up.

Jaxom sat up, stretched and hopped off the bio-bed, "I am scheduled to meet the surgeon tomorrow after my flight evaluation. I'll ask to meet with the counselor." He straightened his uniform and looked at Solana, "Would you like to get a coffee or something afterward?"

Considering some of his previous nervousness at their initial meet and whatnot she wasn't entirely sure it was intended to be strictly a plutonic meet up for coffee. While she wasn't opposed to possibilities, she preferred to give things time and see where they might settle out to. "I'll tell you what. Let's give it a couple missions and see if we can stand one another after, hmm? Let the shininess wear off and see if that luster exists at all. Besides I think you should get ready to meet Pembroke, he's a real treat."

Jaxom smiled at the challenge. "I look forward to working with the team." He valued her genuine response. It had given him something to think about, and he looked forward to getting to know the team as a whole. He headed toward the cockpit door to check on the nav-computer update, then glanced back toward Solana. "I'll be around if you need a hand restocking medical supplies or anything else before we head out."

"Thank you Joker" she replied. "I'll keep that in mind."